


Think About You

by TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsG



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Abusive Relationships, Betrayal, Carol's perspective, Don't read unless you've seen Captain Marvel, F/M, Gaslighting, Introspection, Loss, Mentor/Protégé, Mild Language, Regrets, Yonvers - Freeform, massive spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 21:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsG/pseuds/TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsG
Summary: So many lies.





	Think About You

**Author's Note:**

> So Captain Marvel is fucking amazing and everyone should go see it and I love every single character in it and I'm just _barely_ reining in the urge to cosplay a fem!version of Yon-Rogg. *draws breath*  
> Anyway. I'm a sucker for these kinds of toxic relationships so. Have this, I guess.

It doesn’t take Carol long after their departure with Mar-Vell’s ship to realise that she’s going to have good nights, and Bad Nights.

On the good nights, when she’s exhausted down to her very bones, she falls into a deep, dreamless sleep as soon as her head hits her pillow, waking more or less well-rested a couple of hours later. She likes those nights.

On the Bad Nights, usually the ones following days where she doesn’t react to her name, when she forgets that it’s Carol and not Vers, she tosses and turns, tangles herself in her sheets, and she can’t fall asleep.

Those are the nights when she thinks about Hala, about her life there, her friends, about StarForce.

And of course she thinks about him.

Now that she knows, that she remembers, every memory of him is tainted. She vividly remembers waking up on Hala, a tube with a blue liquid going into her arm, and attached to the other end of the tube was he, a curious, calculating look in his golden eyes and a smile on his face, trained on her as if she were the only person in the room. 

The first time they trained together, after the Kree had put the control disk into her neck, he smirked down at her, so smug, after he had knocked her onto her back, before offering her his hand and pulling her to her feet again. Right off the bat, he enjoyed pushing her, winding her up to make her lose it. In hindsight, she realises how it cemented the bond he was fostering – she’d be unable to control her power, get frustrated, and he’d be there to comfort and reassure her.

 _Toxic_ , she thinks as she stares up at the bulkhead over her bed. _Poison that tastes like honey._

It had taken her a long time to be his match in a fight, despite the reflexes she found she had, the strength and muscle memory of hand to hand combat, and when she finally managed to gain the upper hand, to entangle her legs with his and bring him down to the mat, she had been exhilarated, grinning down at him so hard her cheeks hurt. In answer, he had kicked her legs out from under her and rolled so he pinned her down with his whole body, a hand loosely at her throat. “Never let your guard down, Vers, not even for a second.”

He had been so close she could feel his breath on her face, and she still remembers all the places their bodies had touched, and she feels _so ashamed._

She raises her hand up, looks at the veins shining blue through her skin, and not for the first time, she feels ill. It doesn’t matter what she does, she can never be rid of him, with his blood running through her.

He loved talking about it, reminding her again and again that she owed her survival to him, that she owed her _power_ to him. So many lies, hiding the truth from her with his web of pretty words and the demands he made of her.

The worst part? She half wishes she’d never found out.

She lies in her bed, alone, and wishes she could go back to how things were, when she thought she had his respect and affection, when she wasn’t drifting aimlessly as she is now.

“You can be magnificent, Vers,” he’d told her as he kissed his way down her throat, “you just have to let me help you.”

She had wanted that, wanted everything he’d offered her and more, and look where it got her. She turns her head and looks out into space, the darkness threatening to swallow her whole if she stares too long.

When she closes her eyes, she can see the fear on his face when she’d sent him back to Hala, fear of his own people and the Supreme Intelligence. Part of her still feels sorry for him.

The rest of her likes to think it was all she could do to rid herself of him.

“It's funny how I never felt so high, it's a feelin' that I know, I know I'll never forget, ooh it was the best time I can remember,” she whispers into the stillness of her cabin, the stars blinking silently outside her window.

**Author's Note:**

> Title & lyrics: "Think About You" by Guns'n'Roses


End file.
